"Yes, I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned"

(That’s a line from the song "Lesson Learned," which was penned by Alicia Keys and John Mayer off her new album, As I Am. Good CD!)

So much has been going on in my life lately.... I’ve been hurt a lot, cried a lot, talked a lot, thought a lot, and learned a lot. I’ve reevaluated a lot of things, reprioritized some things, changed some things, and realized other things. I’ve learned so much about myself ... it’s kind of weird....

I never expected life to be perfect, because it isn’t, but sometimes life just hits you smack in the face at 100mph with no warnings at all. Maybe the warnings were there, but you chose to ignore them or whatever. So many different things in my life came crashing down at once, it was too much for me to handle. Although things have been repaired, it will never be the same as it was before.... Honestly, I’ve never been so deeply hurt.... (There were about 3 to 5 days where I seriously couldn’t listen to any music because every song reminded me of something related to what I was dealing with!) Through it all, I’ve seen myself at my worst .... and maybe my best, I don’t really know. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.... I’ve seen my blaring flaws, and the imperfect person I really am. It’s kind of scary, to be honest.

I learned a lot about the company I keep.... Through all the ups and downs over this past month or so, I’ve discovered who my true friends are. I’ve seen who will probably be in my life for the long haul, and who will probably fade as time passes. I’ve sorted out the seasonal leaves from the roots. It’s funny to see who comes out of the woodwork while you’re passing through the fire.... It’s been a hard process, but so necessary in the long run. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. It’s just a fact. The seasonal friends are here for this season in our lives to teach us something, and vice versa. They aren’t necessarily bad in any way, it just requires a different kind of relationship and priority. On the other hand, I’ve also grown some "roots" (Thank you, Shawn McDonald, for that amazing CD!). People I’ve known for a while all of a sudden stood up and I began to take notice of how connected we really are....what gems they are...and how I couldn’t do life without them. I’m so privileged to know so many genuine, caring, supportive people! Especially after these last couple of episodes in my life, I’ve really been able to differentiate between the rhinestones and the diamonds.

I think the trouble comes when we mistake our leaves for our roots, and our roots for leaves. I think that’s where I was.... Maybe my tree needed to be shaken a bit for me to realize it. Both types of friends are important and teach us something, but we shouldn’t pour our hearts out to the leaves when they’ll just blow away when the wind comes, or miss out on what can be gained from the roots.

Another lesson that seems to be reiterated often is that nothing is forever, and everything is temporary. I think I became too comfortable with where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing.... I needed to be reminded that this isn’t it. There’s more to be had.... And with that, comes so much uncertainty. In more ways than one, my next steps aren’t very clear.... I’m still patiently waiting for the Word ... because obedience is better than sacrifice, and I trust Him completely....