"Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all"

May 5, 2008

Have you ever been completely overwhelmed or had a deep realization at a totally random time? I totally had one of those this weekend on choir tour....

So I'm sleeping on the charter bus, somewhere between here and Ellensburg, just listening to Darlene Zschech's first CD, "Kiss of Heaven," (I think it was the song "Dreams" or maybe "Heaven on Earth") trying to get comfortable. I was probably humming or singing really loudly on the inside when it hit me just how much I love God.

I know that probably sounds strange, but it was just the craziest feeling. At that instant, surrounded by people and yet sort of closed off, my heart just kind of melted.... I was completely overwhelmed with how much I truly love my Jesus. Sometimes we don't think about it that much, and sometimes I wonder if I ever do anything right and if I'm doing what He wants me to.... But it was like my heart was just crying out to God, there in the back of the charter bus on a freeway.

I was almost taken aback by the depth, the intensity of my desire. Of my desire to truly love, follow, and serve Him.... It was unreal, but so real at the same time.

I will follow my King no matter what the cost. Wherever He leads me, wherever He is, that's where you'll find me. I will settle for nothing less than His plans. People may try to push their agendas and hurt me in the process, but I will not be moved until I hear His voice. In the words of King David and a little bit of Shawn McDonald, "Even though my enemy is camped upon my chest, I will fear no evil." I want so desperately to do and achieve everything God has for me. Every hurdle, every wound, every triumph, will be used for His glory. They will make me a better person. A better disciple. A better servant. A better leader....

A couple of tears actually rolled down my face as I continued to listen to music and just praise my Lord from the very core of who I am....

God is so incredible and amazing.... so indescribable. I pray that each and every one of you will have that realization and come to the place where He is truly your everything.... I don't know if you can really understand where I'm coming from or what I'm trying to share with you.... But after I thought about how deeply I am in love with my risen Savior, I felt Him whisper to my spirit, "Can you begin to fathom how much more I love you?"