"Fire in my bones"

2 blogs in 1 day .... a record?? perhaps....

SO, i was at youth tonight and it was the last one of the year. kinda the last one for me period. we had it at the park in this covered area and sang worship songs....it was so beautiful.

there were people walking around outside, cuz it's a public park, and something inside of me just kind of broke. now, i'm gonna be honest, i can't hide my emotions very well. they live in this cute little corner of my sleeve, and kind of, well, do whatever they want. :-)

anyways, something inside me broke, and it was like, God gave me His eyes.... i saw the people as He sees them.... people He created, He loves.... i began to wonder about their lives, if they knew this Love, if they had this hope that consumes me.... tears welled and trickled down my face as i just got this deep burden for the people, all the people, who are in such desperate need for hope, for true, abundant, and eternal life.... and then i turned around and looked at the buttload of students and leaders worshipping Jesus and declaring that our God is mighty to save to this broken, hurting, and love-starved world.... and i just got this revelation that THIS IS IT. this is what it is ALL about. not our cute little churches. not the 4 walls that contain us. we ARE the Church and we are NEEDED.

and then i just got this burning, persistent sense in my spirit.... like, i needed to share something. i was like, "oh well, maybe it'll pass, whatever" and kind of dismissed it, but it just grew and grew into, like, a fire in my bones.... i had a message i couldn't contain. i actually got physically jittery and i just HAD to share! and, of course, i bawled my eyes out. i wish i could control my crying, REALLY!! i'm an ESFP (personality type - google it) and i feel things very deeply. i frequently cry during worship, i'm not gonna lie.... His presence just captures me in a very deep way and that's how i respond i guess.... LOL

anyways, eventually God gave me an opportunity to speak, and i hope someone got what i was trying to say.... i care so much about that group of people, and KNOW that God's got a MOVEMENT that's going to come from them.... i love and believe in them so much and mean every word that i said tonight.... there's a world that needs the Solution we have.... let's live this thing out and run this race....

i'll leave you with hebrews 6:10-12 in "the message":

"God doesn't miss anything. He knows perfectly well all the love you've shown Him by helping needy Christians, and that you keep at it. And now I want each of you to extend that same intensity toward a full-bodied hope, and keep at it till the finish. Don't drag your feet. Be like those who stay the course with committed faith and then get everything promised to them."