The Road Less Traveled

Farewell, lovely people!

2009-09-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

so.... as i am currently transitioning into the second phase of my life, i'm starting a new blog with a much simpler address: feleshaanderson.blogspot.com. it will also be on facebook, just like this blog was. you can keep up with me and what's happening during my internship if that kind of thing interests you. stalking isn't preferred, but if you'd like to be in the know so you can keep me in your prayers, that's more than welcomed! :-)

in more random news, i found a few old journals i had when i was 9, 10, and 11 years old. oh my word - hilarious. for some strange reason, i have a natural affinity for journals. they just have so many styles! (ever been to the journal section of target? ah - i'd buy them all!) do i ever fill them up? NO, of course not. all the ones i have are filled out up to half-way.... which i think says other things about my personality, haha!

A letter to the seniors.... (Well, I guess you can still read this even if you're not a senior yet haha!)

2009-09-07T23:09:00.000-07:00

my senior year was the best year of high school, by far. it was super hard at times and incredibly stressful, but God opened SO many doors for me that i wasn't even expecting. i felt like my sphere of influence was enlarged exponentially.... i truly felt like i made a difference and got to LIVE OUT my faith in front of my peers in a way i didn't feel like i could the previous 3 years.... i guess God was just preparing me! He gave me such a platform to positively influence the lives of those around me. i wouldn't trade that for anything. seriously.

all that to say that there's NO telling what God will do in and through your life. my advice: be praying and expecting Him to do something!!! He did so much in my life, and I honestly wasn't even necessarily praying or expecting the impact to be huge. but once He made my steps firm, He just blew my mind and i know that He affected so many people because i was just a willing spirit.

risk was involved. don't think for a second that it was the easy way to go! i could have stayed in my comfort zone and NOT stepped out in faith. i had to try new things and risk embarrassment and failure, which i'm not a huge fan of, haha! God gave me the opportunity to use my gifts in ways i hadn't really thought of, and the results were amazing and humbling. He provided me a way to truly live out Romans 12:1-2 - i love it in the message:

"so here's what i want you to do, God helping you: take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life -- and place it before God as an offering. embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him. don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. instead, fix your attention on God. you'll be changed from the inside out. readily recognize what He wants from you, and quickly respond to it. unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, developing well-formed maturity in you."

take those words and bury them in your heart, senior. you CAN make a difference. there's a verse in the Bible (i'm not a Bible scholar lol) that says something like "God's eyes are searching the earth for one whose heart is turned towards Him." He's LOOKING for someone who is willing to step outside of themselves and surrender to God's will. will you stand up, senior? will you put your hand up and say, "here i am, send me"?

maybe it's starting a prayer group or Bible club, running for student government, joining a club on a topic you've been interested in, trying out for a sports or dance team, or just befriending someone in your class. God can and will use what you give Him. just give Him your fish and loaves of bread - watch how He'll multiply it.

for me, God gave me leadership opportunities and i got to influence and inspire so many of the underclassmen. i got to sing solos twice during the year and i was blown away by the impact that had. the one at the beginning of the year wasn't even a Christian song! but God anointed it and people were touched. the other was for our senior show and has gone literally all over the world via facebook. i also auditioned my high school's musical, and got the lead part, and i hadn't been in a play since middle school. i also got to have a leadership role in our choir with a good friend of mine who's also a Christian and we got to make sure every choir student felt valued. i got to sing and worship with a new youth ministry and make so many new friends. through that, i got to pray during an all-county worship & prayer night which many of my peers were at.

God's favor was over it ALL and i'm humbled that He would use me. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE WHAT GOD CAN DO WITH YOUR "LUNCH." you may feel like you have nothing to offer, but THAT'S NOT TRUE. pray, ask God to help you and give you opportunities to share His love, to be His hands and feet to your school.

i'm sorry this is so long. i got inspired while sharing a piece of my story with a friend. :-)

my prayer for you, senior, is that when graduation comes around, you can look around and know you've left a positive imprint on your school and on your peers; that you'll have no regrets; that you'll know you gave God your all and left it all on the table.

here's to the class of 2010! :-) God bless you all!!!

Ugh.... Inspiration OVERLOAD! (Is that even possible?)

2009-09-04T01:17:00.000-07:00

oh man.... i have literally bajillions of things floating in my head right now.... some good, some bad, i wish i could write for days.... so many things heavy on my heart i want to share.... inspired by so much and thought i'd just blab a little on what i'm chewing on lately....

currently, i'm reading "the kiss of heaven" by darlene zschech for, like, the 4th or 5th time.... it's truly one of my favorite books, and i'm challenged every time i read it. i wish i could write all about what i'm learning just by reading that book!

my little sis and mom finally picked up a new worship album by deluge from bethany world prayer center in louisiana. GOOD STUFF. if you can't worship with that, there must be something wrong with you, and we'll pray for your salvation later. (HAHA!) favorite song: "i need You," which i believe was penned by the fantastic jonathan stockstill. they have a different sound from, say, hillsong/united, which is so fresh and mixes up my own personal worship times. i love new stuff! another total favorite is "open up the sky." i enjoy his writing style because it's direct, which is similar to my own style of writing. will hopefully expand more on this album sometime in the future before i move....

books i still REALLY want to read and eventually own:

"the great generational transition" by darlene zschech
"it" by craig groeschel
"can i have and do it all please?" by christine caine

lastly, i'm inspired by stuff just going on in my own life and the situations that come up.... so much i want to say, it just gets overwhelming at times.... i feel like i need a MASSIVE creative release.... wish i could be up all night and type up the things that are in my heart and mind right now.... i don't know if i'll ever have the time.... i suppose the only solution is to break it down and just do it piece by piece.... (so NOT my personality.... "why can't i just do it all at once???" is more my style, but not always the best tactic haha!)

A new breed....

2009-09-02T17:59:00.000-07:00

I saw a good friend's mom and brother at a coffee shop the other day, and asked him how football practice was going because he's a really good athlete. His answer surprised me in the best possible way.

"Actually, I'm not going to be doing any sports this year. I really feel that God is telling me to use that time to know Him better."

WHAT?!? He's going to be a junior - I think he's around 16 years old. I high-fived him and told him he's a stud, because he is! How many 16 year old boys do you know who would give up SPORTS for GOD??? Not many.

God is really raising up a generation of young people who are passionate about Him. People who want to worship, pray, and DO something with their faith. People who aren't content with living a life filled with rules and regulations to somehow be a "good Christian" in their own efforts. People who love God and love life. People who are going to make a difference.

My friend's brother also added that he's going to be leading the F.I.S.H. (Friends In Sharing Him) group at his high school (my alma mater hahaha).

There's no telling what God can do with a heart that is fully submitted to Him. :-)

Additional Note:

This isn't to somehow convict you and ask yourself "What am I sacrificing for God?" Because that's not necessarily the point. God has spoken something differently to each and every one of us. The question to ask ourselves is "are we doing what God has spoken to us?" Do we love God more than our gifts/talents/abilities?

For Abraham, it was his son. For Esther, it was her "invisible" life. For Hosea, it was a "traditional" wife. For Peter, it was his job as a fisher. For Jesus, it was His very life, will, and decisions.

What is God telling YOU?

(Feel free to share if you'd like!)

Carefree

2009-09-01T11:29:00.000-07:00

I was reading 1 Peter 5 this morning in "the Message" and I think it's one of my favorite chapters! I'd encourage you to read it. Anyways, verses 6 and 7 stuck out to me:

"So be content with who you are, and don't put on airs. God's strong hand is on you; He'll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you."

How beautiful is THAT??? "Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you." Oh, I just love that.

In the ESV (English Standard Version) it reads:

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you."

I love love LOVE the Message's take on that verse because it puts a whole other spin on it. "He is most careful with you." .... I've never ever thought of that verse in that way before. I guess it's never occured to me that God would be most careful with me, you know? It's such a humbling, personal thought.... We don't have to stress, worry, or fear.... We have every reason to trust our loving Father because He is careful with us! We are precious to Him! He values us THAT much.... Oh, He is just so good.... I'm so glad He revealed that to me....

Let's not forget that.... What a beautiful message.... It'll change your life, if you let it. :-)

"Live carefree before God; He is most careful with you."

A Mother's Worship

2009-08-10T23:47:00.001-07:00

on sunday, i had the privilege of singing at a friend's church about 40min away. it's a russian church, and a great group of people. the presence of God was in that place and it was so easy to worship alongside of them. even though most of their songs were in russian, i just hummed along to the tune or sang my own song to God in english! lol

a little over a year ago, the senior pastor of that church lost one of his sons in a tragic and random series of events that still don't really make sense to this day. it was such a shock to everyone, and even now it's hard to think about.

the pastor's wife and one of their daughters were singing on the stage, and i noticed that the wife began to cry a little bit. (i cry all the time during worship because the presence of the King is just SO moving and humbling.) however, i was brought to tears myself. although His undeniable presence was there, i was touched by the mother's act of worship. i was so aware of what it cost her to bring her praise to God. here is a woman who's lost her son, and she's still singing praises to God. talk about costly worship, and bringing a sacrifice of praise.

i've never been though anything as tragic as that. i am so moved by her faith in God. her, and her husband, and her family, have had to hold on to God because there was no other choice - period.

i wonder about her journey of faith.... i just can't imagine having to go though what she's gone through.... and worshiping God in spite of it all.... and i only know a small part of their story....

"Fire in my bones"

2009-07-21T22:29:00.000-07:00

2 blogs in 1 day .... a record?? perhaps....

SO, i was at youth tonight and it was the last one of the year. kinda the last one for me period. we had it at the park in this covered area and sang worship songs....it was so beautiful.

there were people walking around outside, cuz it's a public park, and something inside of me just kind of broke. now, i'm gonna be honest, i can't hide my emotions very well. they live in this cute little corner of my sleeve, and kind of, well, do whatever they want. :-)

anyways, something inside me broke, and it was like, God gave me His eyes.... i saw the people as He sees them.... people He created, He loves.... i began to wonder about their lives, if they knew this Love, if they had this hope that consumes me.... tears welled and trickled down my face as i just got this deep burden for the people, all the people, who are in such desperate need for hope, for true, abundant, and eternal life.... and then i turned around and looked at the buttload of students and leaders worshipping Jesus and declaring that our God is mighty to save to this broken, hurting, and love-starved world.... and i just got this revelation that THIS IS IT. this is what it is ALL about. not our cute little churches. not the 4 walls that contain us. we ARE the Church and we are NEEDED.

and then i just got this burning, persistent sense in my spirit.... like, i needed to share something. i was like, "oh well, maybe it'll pass, whatever" and kind of dismissed it, but it just grew and grew into, like, a fire in my bones.... i had a message i couldn't contain. i actually got physically jittery and i just HAD to share! and, of course, i bawled my eyes out. i wish i could control my crying, REALLY!! i'm an ESFP (personality type - google it) and i feel things very deeply. i frequently cry during worship, i'm not gonna lie.... His presence just captures me in a very deep way and that's how i respond i guess.... LOL

anyways, eventually God gave me an opportunity to speak, and i hope someone got what i was trying to say.... i care so much about that group of people, and KNOW that God's got a MOVEMENT that's going to come from them.... i love and believe in them so much and mean every word that i said tonight.... there's a world that needs the Solution we have.... let's live this thing out and run this race....

i'll leave you with hebrews 6:10-12 in "the message":

"God doesn't miss anything. He knows perfectly well all the love you've shown Him by helping needy Christians, and that you keep at it. And now I want each of you to extend that same intensity toward a full-bodied hope, and keep at it till the finish. Don't drag your feet. Be like those who stay the course with committed faith and then get everything promised to them."

Mark 7

2009-07-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

for some reason, i really like mark 7. i'd encourage you to read it sometime. basically, the first part of the chapter is Jesus talking with the pharisees about how they claim to be so spiritual when they fail to fulfill the commandments. they dishonor their parents by claiming they gave their gifts to God instead, and Jesus calls them on it. the bottom line of this section is that it's not what we take in, or eat, that pollutes our lives, it's what comes out of us. the disciples don't get what He's saying, so He lays it out plain for them. by saying that what we eat doesn't contaminate us or our hearts, He's making it clear that all foods are fit to eat. this is contrary to jewish law because they had many dietary restrictions. Jesus is saying that food shouldn't be our main source of arguments. it shouldn't be what trips us up, keeps us repentant before God, and causes resentment amongst our brothers and sisters. it shouldn't be our main concern. rather, we should be paying the acutest attention to what is coming OUT of our mouths, for that is what contaminates our hearts and lives. in "the message," verses 20-23 read like this, [Jesus speaking] "It's what comes out of a person that pollutes: obscenities, lusts, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, depravity, deceptive dealings, carousing, mean looks, slander, arrogance, foolishness - all these are vomit from the heart. There is the source of your pollution."

the rest of the chapter is about Jesus healing two people: a Greek woman's demon-posessed daughter, and a man who was deaf and mute. what particularly struck me was the story about the woman. she comes to Jesus and begs Him to heal her daughter, and this is His reply (verse 27, NIV): "First let the children eat all they want, for it is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." - WOW! sounds pretty harsh, Jesus....calling her a dog because she's a gentile.... but this woman was bold, and replied, "Yes, Lord, but even the dogs under the table eat the children's crumbs." Jesus was impressed with her reply and told her to go - "the demon has left your daughter." and when the woman returned home, that's exactly what she found. i always thought that was a rather harsh way to deal with a woman who wanted healing for her daughter, but Jesus never sinned. period. and i guess perhaps he knew what her reply would be. maybe she needed to step out in boldness and faith, and his curt response gave her that opportunity when i'd imagine many others would be offended, give up, and turn away.... i don't know.... just thoughts to think about. :-)

Well, ok then....

2009-07-06T17:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at church (KMC), we had some guest speakers that are missionaries to India, Dr. David and Dr. Lynn Willis. What a dynamic couple!

It was my week to lead worship and my team introduced "Revelation Song" by Jennie Lee Riddle. It went well and the congregation really liked the song, but sometimes it's hard to tell from the stage. But the music set was really good in my opinion, and God showed up, which is the best thing ever....it's the only thing that matters! I worshiped, I cried, it was great. Haha!

Anyways, Dr. David gave a great word on the Issachar anointing and knowing the times and seasons of God, he and Dr. Lynn prayed for everybody while we led them in worship.

After the service was over, my mom wanted Dr. Lynn to pray for me, and we all talked for a little bit about my internship, etc., and she began to pray.

It was incredible to me because she basically prayed my entire life - all my hopes and fears, and we'd only met that day. She mentioned things like leadership (that was a big one), prophecy, discernment, worship leading, protection, having a worshiper's heart, relationships, provision, etc. I was blown away at how God knows it all.... Like, yes, He knows because He knows everything, but He also cares. It's so encouraging to know that He's marked me.... that He's guiding me.... I just can't wait to see what He's going to do! :-)

Religion kills....

2009-06-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

so before you chop my head off and excommunicate me for blasphemy, hear me out.

one of dictionary.com's definitions for religion: "the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith" (emphasis mine)

i spent some time in portland this past weekend for my cousin's wedding. i spent 2 days there at the church where the wedding was going to take place. let's just say, hospitality was not one of the church's spiritual gifts.... the pastor who was performing the ceremony was also the pastor of the church.... he didn't introduce himself to my dad, who walked my cousin down the aisle, nor to my family. he just kept using vague terms like "this man" or variances thereof. he showed up late to the rehearsal and the wedding, flew through the vows, and had a certain haughty air about him.

because of the chaos and disorganization, i ended up acting as the wedding planner. the pastor called the groom and i into his office much too close to the time the ceremony was actually supposed to start, and ran over the schedule of events. not once did he ask my name or anything. the couple was planning on lighting unity candles, but didn't run through that at the rehearsal. he mentioned all this to me, and the ceremony finally got underway. he literally FLEW through the vows and skipped the unity candle part entirely. i don't know what happened between our little powwow and the actual ceremony, but apparently he forgot. did he even know the couple??? sometimes i wondered....

since i stepped in as sort of a wedding coordinator, i sent out the bridesmaids & groomsmen down the aisle at the beginning of the ceremony. this lady was sitting in the hallway telling me i did it all wrong because i sent the maid of honor down first and she was supposed to go before the bride.... whoops! it was my first wedding that i've coordinated, ok? and the maid of honor lined up first, so i just sent her down! lol anyways, i found out the lady was the events coordinator for the church, and we wondered where she was yesterday when we were trying to figure it all out! she proceeded to act aloof and say things the rest of the day. once again, never introducing herself to my family or anything.

contrast to this.... on sunday morning my family and i went to portland city bible church. while we were still approaching the building, an older man made a friendly, joking comment to my dad. my mom and i went into the bathroom and a young woman started up a conversation with us and introduced herself. then once we were seated waiting for the service to start, another older man greeted us, introduced himself, and talked with us. such a breath of fresh air!!! we'd been on the church property for about 20min and we'd already talked with 3 different people. quite a contrast to our experience in the last couple of days.

worship was fantastic. it was very simple, in fact, they did 3 songs in total and the service was over an hour and a half long. but the undeniable presence of God was there. you can't deny the power of spontaneous worship!!! when the worship leader exhorted us, the congregation, to sing our own song to the Lord and worship Him in our own words, the people did not back down. they lifted up His praises unlike what i'm used to on a weekly basis. it was beautiful!!! we spent so much time just basking in His presence, not singing a song, but lifting up our own unique, individual songs of adoration as a collective body....oh, it was just beautiful.

it was my first time in a satellite service (where the pastor isn't there live preaching a sermon, but you watch him on a screen), and it was weird at first, but got used to it. it kinda felt like i was watching TV with a bunch of people! haha! but their pastor, frank damazio, was great. he started a new series on compassion that i'm going to try to follow on their website: citybiblechurch.org. i'd encourage you to follow along with me! it was challenging, and it was only week one! haha!

during and after the sermon, it was obvious that these people, this group of believers was serious about the words of their pastor. not only his words, but the words and mandate given to all of us that call ourselves children of the King. they were going to do their best to be true, compassionate people!! i was struck by their honesty and understanding. truly striving to not only be hearers, but doers of the Word.

for all the new people vising the church, they offer a free espresso drink and pastry from their cafe! wow! and it was all very good. we all had blackberry coffee cake that they make onsite - delicious. while we were waiting, the campus pastor came out to the cafe to grab a drink, and introduced himself to my dad and the rest of us. he stayed and talked for quite a while and was a super friendly guy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i can't describe the difference i felt between the two church bodies. let alone, in the pastors that shepherd there. one pastor who had a reserved spot in front of the church and never bothered himself with introducing himself, and the other stayed and had a genuine conversation with us.

religion kills.... if i was only exposed to pastor #1, and that was the extent of my "religious experience," i would be turned off to Christianity completely, without a doubt.

then pastor #2.... wow.... i'm filled w/so much gratitude.... i forgot what church was like for the first time....the importance of a genuine, friendly face....of one interested in your life....don't underestimate it, folks....it's powerful. we must live out compassion and resist the urge to reach for the cutesy, plastic, religious mask....where it becomes all about appearance and not about the heart....about rituals and practices, while forsaking the vital relationship that's supposed to fuel them....

the Church is beautiful when we're humble, loving, compassionate people of God....when we treat others with the genuine respect, concern and interest....when we remember the love bestowed upon us by our extravagant Savior when we were most undeserving, and still are....

we must not forget....we can't afford to forget....to many lost, confused, troubled, hurting souls hang in the balance....it's time to rise up, Church.

New entertainment

2009-06-22T23:35:00.000-07:00

bought the french band phoenix's cd the other week called "wolfgang amadeus phoenix" .... pretty good stuff! check out "lisztomania" (my #1 fave) & "1901" (the first song i heard from them, also great!). "fences" has a cool 70's musical feel to it, and "lasso" is catchy. the vocals on "rome" are a tad too nasal for my liking. the worst part of the cd is a 5min+ instrumental song.... i'm thinking coldplay should be the only band who does instrumental songs cuz it's actually enjoyable! phoenix's attempt falls short and borders on annoying for me....so there are definitely 3 solid faves for me, but i'm still warming up to the rest of the cd.

saw the movie "the proposal" this weekend. so cute! sure, the plot is sort of predictable in that you know they're going to fall in love in the end, but how it unfolds was pleasant and actually funny! definitely some laugh-out-loud moments and i was surprised to find ryan reynolds very attractive by the end of the movie....lol i'm for sure making plans to see it again. a great date film! (on a bit of a side note....there was unnecessary, excess nudity, however, the couple never sleeps together, which i found interesting....i think the nudity was there to replace that somehow....)

also saw "star trek" .... sort of against my will lol but i didn't pay for it! i thought the movie was very well-made, the graphics were great and believable. the plot was ok, but i'm not a sci-fi fan. more of a romantic comedy or action kind of girl. :-) and the movie felt so long!! a lot of story set-up, if you know what i mean. but definitely wouldn't go see it again. once was enough, haha.

Read it for YOURSELF!

2009-06-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

ok, so i'm sure you've all seen the tv shows like dr.phil, oprah, and all the judge so-and-so shows where a spouse has been unfaithful and their trying to decide whether or not they should stay married.

for me, when i think of being married someday, if my husband were to be unfaithful, he's out the door! it's a non-negotiable. i knew that the Bible says God hates divorce. i got that. but in the back of my mind i always thought somehow God would understand that reason.

and in church, honestly, you don't hear a lot about marriage, or what the Bible says about marriage. and if we do, it's usually referring to paul who thought it was better to stay single if you could help it. he didn't sound too enthusiastic about the whole idea of marriage.

anyways, i guess that's why i was so surprised when i was reading matthew 19 a few days ago. the first 12 verses talk about divorce. the religious people are trying to trick Jesus, like they always are, and this time they ask him, "is it legal for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?" (the Message) Jesus proceeds to answer them, but they continue to argue with Him. In His second answer, He says, "...I'm holding you to the original plan, and holding you liable for adultery if you divorce your faithful wife and then marry someone else. I make an exception in cases where the spouse has committed adultery."

i never knew Jesus actually said that! i also didn't know He was so "pro-marriage." In verses 11 and 12, Jesus says, "not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. it requires a certain aptitude and grace. marriage isn't for everyone. some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. others never get asked - or accepted. and some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. but if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it." (the Message)

i also love how it reads in the NIV: "not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given." (v11) and the end of verse 12 reads, "the one who can accept this should accept it." and in the ESV it reads, "let the one who is able to receive this receive it." (v12)

i've never heard those passages used when discussing marriage. it's as if at times, paul's words, thoughts, and teachings are put above the very One who inspired it all.... but i was very happy to find those gems for myself.... i could always use more of Jesus' words....

new tunes!

2009-05-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

bought the new hillsong united CD "across the earth//tear down the walls" today! whoot whoot! so excited to have new tunes ringing in the eardrums. i tend to get tired of music relatively quickly because i marinate in it for at least months at a time after i've purchased it. lol

also been listening to a good series on sex and lust by pastor billy huffman called "between the sheets" .... check it out at www.generationchurch.org.

hot weather expected tomorrow.... unfortunately too poor to afford new summer clothes.... so i'm trying to scrape some outfits together.... always fun and games, really....

got church & baccalaureate tomorrow.....should prove to be a very full day.....and it's my best friend's 18th bday!!! so that's really exciting....gotta go pick up a present for her.... oh procrastination....

and it's officially ONE WEEK til graduation....so ridiculous the speed at which time flies! thank you, john mayer: "won't someone stop this train?"

Fallen off the face of the earth?

2009-05-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

hey hey hey .... sorry the blogs have been so very far between.... senior year is stressful, i tell ya! i believe the count is 5 more days til graduation, and it's just unreal.... the senior issue of the school newspaper comes out tomorrow, and i'm SUPER excited to see it!!! (my 3 best friends are the editors :-)

music i'm dying to buy.... the new CD by the french band, phoenix, and the new album "across the earth//tear down the walls" by hillsong united, which is now #1 or #2 on the US itunes chart....UNBELIEVABLE....i don't know them personally, but seriously, that's such fantastic news....God is ridiculously good....

as for future plans, i've decided to hold back at least a year on a college education. instead, i'll be part of an internship program in a large city near my place of residence.... :-) simply stoked for what God's going to do through that program....it's going to be amazing, and my interview is in a couple weeks, which i think is the easy part, haha!

i seriously can't believe this school year is ending....it's all so surreal....but wow, has God proven Himself once again, i mean really. He has opened so many doors for me and i can graduate knowing that i made a difference and left a positive impact on my school.... no greater feeling, really. it's as if all my schooling thus far was preparation for this year (and consequently for those to follow)....like being backstage, and then this year, it's like He's put me onstage and pulled back the curtains....sort of like my debut into the real world, you know? but all in all, i truly believe He's been glorified....it's so NOT about me....

and youth has been going great too....such cool, gifted, caring people....heading out to Guatemala this summer for a mission trip with them....and hey, on a huge plug, i'm selling delicious, legit Guatemalan coffee for $10 to raise money....if you wanna buy one, contact me! :-)

gotta go take my amazingly talented sis to dance practice, then go look at some senior photos my friend took of my 3 best friends and i, then off to practice for the baccalaureate service....and after that, i've gotta write concert reports and fill out the packet for my choir final....

oh man, i've got to find a way not to stress and somehow continue functioning while my eyes are insisting on cashing in some zzzzzz's....

Pardon my vent.

2009-03-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

....feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.... and i'm in need of a vent, so bear with me if you dare. i'm not sure how this is going to help me.... in fact, i think it may make it worse.... but i'm going on senioritis now so, what the heck....

the most immediate thing would be my kick-butt math test on monday.... the review is ridiculously hard and i might not even finish it.... i really can't explain how much i'm dreading this specific test....
scholarships. just the word sends shudders down my back. they might not be necessarily difficult, but they're just TIME-CONSUMING and so SPECIFIC. however, the must be done.
senior project. freaking a. so i'm teaching myself how to play the acoustic guitar, which is cool, however, i've b.s.ed all the logs, which is awesome.... so somehow i have to finish a bunch of stuff for that within the next week.
prom. oh my word....prom. ugh....well, i just hope things work out.... cuz i'd really hate to say no....that's enough stress in itself.
making huge, life-altering decisions scares the crap out of me.... ahhh MAJOR stress.
(low on the stress list, however, it is on there....) senior showcase. how can i possibly choose a song that sums up who i am and what i hope i've left here??? ah! stressful.

and i guess another one would be my future because well.... God's the only One who knows at this point.... *sigh* learning to rest/trust in Him is easier said than done, my friend.

ok, now let's look at some highlights.... (in order of occurence)

GC conference. i definitely need this. hopefully some things will be clarified and we'll just have a fabulous time.
spring break. unfortunately i'm not going anywhere and my college class starts that same week, but it's only 2 days. hopefully i'll get to get away for a little bit and just do some much-needed relaxing.
HILLSONG UNITED. this is going to be ridiculously amazing. i'm stoked beyond belief. (basically, it's a worship night w/this incredible band from australia. if you wanna go, and you should, talk to me!) www.hillsongunited.com
prom. you know what, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, right? so we'll make this fun.... whether we have dates or not. :-)
choir tour. this is going to be so fun. natasha is going to have a blast! ;-) i'm getting really excited for this, actually.
senior pictures. i'm really looking forward to these. i have lots of ideas for them!
graduation + grad parties. um, what's NOT to love???

hhmmm.....this looks more like a countdown to graduation and peacing out....but oh well. i guess that's how it is, though.... a race to graduation.... which brings about it's own stress levels without a doubt.... but somehow, i'll try to focus on the positive....

check out michael buble's version of "summer wind" ... i love it!

Thank You!!!

2009-03-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

WOW.... Grease was a HUGE success! I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who came and supported me/us. :-) For those who came to see me, THANK YOU! I got to talk and take pictures with most of you, which is always fun. Haha! It meant so much to me that you could make it!!!

To the cast (if you read this lol) - YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!! I had a great time working with and getting to know every one of you. :-)

So....now it's over, and it's sad, and I think we'd all love to do another weekend of shows! ;-) More pictures will be up soon....

i don't know. i don't know. i don't know.

2009-03-01T23:14:00.000-08:00

what's the point of dreaming? if, in the end, money is the deciding factor? is it?
what do i want to get out of this life? what do i want accomplish?
why didn't those born before i
fund their expectations instead of leaving a state of frustration?
what's the point? is it worth it?
what are my dreams? do they matter if all i have are empty pockets?
take the cheapest option. but i can't stay here.
then the next cheapest. hated it.
why is the one thing i want so unattainable? is it unrealistic?
what do i want? what do i want?
i don't know. i don't know. i don't know.
anything.
what i am certain of are few
what am i supposed to do?
left in a haze
blinded by reality. by the facts.
by tears. by frustration. by anger.
by the unknown.
what matters? what doesn't?
what's needed? what's better left behind?
who do i listen to:
realist vs optimist
others' perceptions and expectations of me
and what i believe to be possible
i can't hear You anymore
can't see You in this place
it will all work out. it will all work out.
somehow Your hand is in it all
but it hurts too much. reality hurts too much.
where do they meet?
faith and practicality
if all things are possible....
if all is limitless....
then what's the point of dreaming?

Happy {Early} Valentine's Day!

2009-02-13T22:30:00.001-08:00

I have to work, which is really lame, but it'll be a great day! I get to spend it with my twin and best friends.... I think we're going to make homemade cream puffs! Yes! :-)

Even if you don't have a special someone, (*cough* like me *cough*) I hope you get to spend Valentine's Day with people you love. What more could one ask for?

Update!

2009-02-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

Wow! It's been a month since I've written anything.... I've thought of lots of things to write about, but then I get consumed with something else and forget all about it. :-)

Anyways, what have I been up to? As of late, the play is taking up most of my time. It's a lot of fun, but pretty challenging as well. I have SO MUCH TO MEMORIZE and I don't even have a lot of lines/songs compared to the other cast members. I don't know how they do it....

I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about college and stuff yet, but I'm leaning towards Arizona State University. I plan on visiting over Spring Break and getting my financial aid package before making a final decision.... (Keep praying! :-)

God is really moving here. We had a night of worship & prayer for high school students and about 300 kids showed up. Awesome! I had the privilege of being a part of the night and it was so great seeing so many friends from school there. Church has also been incredible and it's great to be involved in what God's doing there.

I had a birthday a few weeks ago and had SO much fun! A girls' night with over 15 of my closest friends, meant we were bound to have a good time, and let me assure you, a good time was definitely had by all. ;-)

I was nominated for a blind date though YoungLife, which I don't even go to (LOL!). It was a lot of fun and my date and I went ballroom dancing! We learned "West Coast Swing" for all you dancers out there. ;-) We were one of three dates that are being made into a video and will be shown at the Feb. YoungLife. I can't wait to see it!

Finals went really well. I got an A on my Precalculus test. An A!!!! That's ridiculous. Truly a miracle of God....

I'm now well past the halfway mark to graduation, and wow is that scary! It's been a great year and has been just as stressful as it's been fun! Ah! - so many decisions and changes are going to be happening in the coming weeks/months...and it's definitely intimidating at times. But I just try to focus on the NOW and enjoy every moment as it comes. :-)

What I'm reading right now: The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus. It's a FANTASTIC book! So challenging and puts things into perspective. READ IT!

What I'm listening to right now: Awake by Josh Groban. I got it for a present from my twin, and my favorite song is "So She Dances!" :-)

A Realization

2009-01-12T21:13:00.001-08:00

I. Love. People.

It's as simple as that, really. Yes, I've always known it but.... I guess I surprise myself with how deeply I must. have. that. connection.

My father is an introvert, so he doesn't need that connection like I do. I don't think he understands that I need to be around my friends just as much as he needs to be alone.

My friends. Wow, they are truly fabulous people. I thank God every day for them, seriously. I love being around them. Laughing at them, watching a movie, sipping Starbucks, anything. I would love nothing more to entertain them in my home all the time! I'd love to do that. When I have my own home, it will be like that. I promise you. :-)

Maybe it's my artistic tendencies.... Artists tend to feel things deeply, both good and bad. I can't always control my emotions. Sometimes they erupt at the surface before I have a chance to yell, STOP! Although I may not feel like I need to cry about it, I do. Because it's so important for me to be understood, accepted, acknowledged, and listened to. Validated. Maybe because I get frustrated.... Not in an angry way, but because whoever I'm talking with just. doesn't. get it.

My friends matter so much to me that, yes, I guess I would cry for them. They are a part of me. Perhaps it is I that doesn't understand why someone else wouldn't value them as such.

But it's not personal. I must keep telling myself that. For me, the two are one-in-the-same and hard to differentiate between.

Albertine

2009-01-12T20:40:00.001-08:00

That's the title of Brooke Fraser's latest CD, which was distributed throughout the U.S. of A. last year, 2008. What a fabulous CD! I've wanted to get it for a long time, and since no one got it for me as a gift, I broke down and bought it myself. :-) Her sound is acoustic, and simple, with great, GREAT lyrics and melodies. It's only just over 45 minutes, and I wish there was more! One song, in particular, that's just beautiful is the last song on the album, simply titled "Hymn." It's become my prayer, and I've shared the lyrics below. Enjoy, and may this be the prayer of all who believe.

Hymn

words and music by Brooke Fraser

if to distant lands I scatter

if I sail to farthest seas

would you find and firm and gather

'til I only dwell in Thee?

if I flee from greenest pastures

would you leave to look for me?

forfeit glory to come after

'til I only dwell in Thee

if my heart has one ambition

if my soul one goal to seek

this my solitary vision

'til I only dwell in Thee

that I only dwell in Thee

'til I only dwell in Thee

Burning.... Freedom.... Passion

2009-01-11T23:23:00.000-08:00

I just got the book The Barbarian Way by Erwin Raphael McManus, and it's so good! It's about "unleasing the untamed faith within" and rejecting a "civilized" Christianity by instead becoming passionate disciples of Jesus Christ. Cool stuff. Anyways, this is just something I love that's right in the first few pages of his book:

It's hard to imagine that Jesus would endure the agony of the Cross just to keep us in line. Jesus began a revolution to secure our freedom. The new covenant that He established puts its trust not in the law, but in the transforming power of God's Spirit living within us. The revolution of the human heart would fuel the life and vitality of this movement. We would delight in God, and He would give us the desires of our hearts (Psalms 37:4). With our hearts burning for God, we would move forward with the freedom to pursue the passions burning within us. [emphasis mine]

I love that last sentence.... God is so beautiful! His plans - His thoughts - are so magnificent....

Well, enjoy that little tidbit as you go on your merry way. :-)

Goodbye, 2008

2008-12-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

Well, in less than 5 hours, 2008 will be officially over and 2009 will be ever-present. What a crazy year it's been for me.... Full of ups and downs. I've never been so happy nor so broken. I've been truly blessed, but the journey I've been on has been filled with pain and disillusionment as well. Praise God it's over and I'm on the other side now, and He's continuing to heal, but wow....

All in all, God be praised. I've learned to praise Him no matter what I'm going through. He has once again proven Himself faithful. What an honor to serve Him.

I pray a blessing over 2009. This year will be filled with so much change.... It's scary! But He's there in the midst, guiding my every step. Praise be to my Savior King, Jesus!

Wherever you find yourself this New Year's Eve, may God continue to pour His love into your life.

May 2009 be covered in His grace and mercy!

Reading....

2008-12-09T13:57:00.001-08:00

I was reading Luke 17 today and a couple things jumped out at me, which I'd like to share. :-)

In verses 7-10 in The Message, Jesus is saying, "Suppose one of you has a servant who comes in from plowing the field or tending the sheep. Would you take his coat, set the table, and say, 'Sit down and eat'? Wouldn't you be more likely to say, 'Prepare diner; change your clothes and wait table for me until I've finished my coffee; then go to the kitchen and have your supper'? Does the servant get special thanks for doing what's expected of him? It's the same with you. When you've done everything expected of you, be matter-of-fact and say, 'The work is done. What we were told to do, we did.'"

Did you catch that line? "Does the servant get special thanks for doing what's expected of him?"

In today's society, everybody wants to be recognized for everything. But there are some things that are just expected of us. We don't deserve praise or a pat on the back, although it's appreciated. We should serve God faithfully out of gratitude and not expect all of Heaven to stop whenever we want to be noticed.

Just as a baby has to learn to walk on his own without being praised for every three steps he takes, so it should be with us.

If You're In Need of a Good Laugh....

2008-12-04T22:21:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-yJBsjatW0

I'm pretty sure that made my day....

Things I'm Loving Right Now!

2008-12-04T22:18:00.000-08:00

Although life is stressful, things have been so great lately! I have wonderful people in my life and I'm appreciating them more and more each day. :-) So, to share my feeling of peachyness, I thought I'd share some of the things I'm LOVING right now! :-)

Sara Bareilles' CD, "Little Voice" -- I LOVE this CD! I'm always singing along to it!

AUSTRALIA, the movie -- AMAZING MOVIE! GO SEE IT! I seriously can't stop talking about it! I'm making plans to see it again!!!

The latest addition to my shoe collection: gray ankle boots with adorable buttons on the side that I bought for $12! They're so cute, of course they hurt like heck, but they're so cute!!!

DOXA is seriously rocking my socks. It's getting better and better every week and I'm so honored to be a part of it. I LOVE DOXA!!! :-)

What a Day.... What a Year!

2008-11-27T00:55:00.000-08:00

Today was quite a productive day, I must say. I cranked out 2 college applications and mailed them along with their checks! Yay! I still have 1, possibly 2 more I might apply to, but that's to consider at a later date. I met my deadline and now I can rest for a bit! And just in time for Thanksgiving, too....

After I finished mailing my applications, I completed my LAST TEST for my American Lit class, so big whoop for that. Things are sort of calming down, which is always a good thing after rip-roaring for too long. :-)

Senior year is going fantastically well. I think I should change my answer because people ask me that a lot and my initial thought is "STRESS!" But honestly, when I think about it, these past few months have been great. I've been spending so much time with my friends which is so hard because we're all so busy! But when we do get the chance, it's always a joy.... what can I say :-)

Tonight (or last night) we got to bond while watching the GREATEST MOVIE EVER: AUSTRALIA (read post below). Watching that movie is the best way to end a night! Seriously! I came home and my mom was watching The Aviator, and I couldn't even watch it. After watching Jackman and Kidman's intense chemistry in Australia, everything else pales in comparison!

I feel like I've been making leaps and bounds as a person.... I know I always talk about being released from a cage, but I truly feel like I'm blossoming, for lack of a better term.... It's as if I've sort of been in hiding or seclusion for all these years, and I've finally been released into the world with confidence and wisdom.... It's a great feeling.

For instance, today, I found that I was nominated to participate in some blind date thing Young Life is putting together. I don't even go to Young Life! How could they nominate me??? I haven't decided if I'm going to go through with it, but we'll see. It's nice to be nominated by people you didn't think even knew you. :-)

And then last Friday I found out that I'll be playing Sandy in my high school's musical this year, which is GREASE! I'm still SO stoked for this! Haha, I was so excited that I watched the movie twice last weekend.... Apparently the play's a lot different from the movie, but still, it was fun watching it. :-) I haven't done any acting in a long time and I'm so looking forward to getting back into it! Our first practice is Monday and I think I'm more excited for that than I am for Thanksgiving!

I also sang in a talent show at my school a couple weekends ago, and that was really fun. I sang "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles, which you can find on YouTube, thanks to my proud father. LOL My best friend accompanied me the first night, but the YouTube version has a different lady playing. She's like our resident accompanist because she plays for all of our performances. She's amazing and a total sweetheart!

Every year, for the yearbook, the graduating class nominates people for a buttload of different categories. My personal goal was to win "Most Musical Girl" and well what do you know.... I WON! I was so stoked.... But I just hope my picture turns out good....

My friends have started calling me "Sandy" in honor of my part.... But I hope that doesn't stick around for too long. Everyone at school has been so kind and supportive of me, it's great! People I don't even know are like, "Hey! Congratulations on being Sandy! You're going to be great!" And I just beam and say "Thank you." Haha.

I've also gotten to sing at 3 churches, at least, since August, so that's really exciting as well. I love getting out and meeting other members of the Body of Christ. It's so encouraging and it's a pleasure to sing for them! More than anything, I always pray they see my heart, and even more than that, Jesus through me. I'm not up there to bring fame to my name by any means.

These past few months have been filled with so many opportunities.... It's awesome! I'm loving every minute of it. At times it gets completely overwhelming, but somehow I just grin and bear it....and always at the last possible minute, of course. :-)

If you're out there, and you're reading this, I ask that you'd keep me in your prayers. Pray that as I get more and more opportunities to get out into the community, that I wouldn't tarnish the Name of my precious Savior. That I would be a light on a hill and be filled with His love and joy. That I would make genuine connections with people and slow down enough to invest in them and learn from them! :-) Thanks so much, we're all in this together....

I Have Fallen In Love....

2008-11-27T00:44:00.000-08:00

I just came back from watching the BEST MOVIE EVER...............

Seriously, peeps, go watch it. It's long (close to 3 hours) but OH SO VERY WORTH IT!!! It's got everything: romance, comedy (that's actually laugh-out-loud funny), and action. SO GO WATCH IT, PEOPLE!!!! It's amazing!!!! .....And shout-out to Hugh Jackman who is gorgeous in this movie! :-)

Picture Perfect

2008-11-20T13:24:00.000-08:00

I really enjoy taking pictures whenever I get the chance to travel. This past Spring Break (2008) my family and I went to Phoenix and LA. The pictures below are of the LA part of the trip.

Hollywood Boulevard

Venice Beach

Me Gusta....

2008-11-18T22:54:00.000-08:00

I'm liking this chapter of my life.... I just turned a new page, and wow....tonight was awesome.

I know this is where I'm supposed to be, and it's a great feeling.

>>>> insert huge *SIGH* here <<<<

:-)

It's Official.

2008-11-16T23:29:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right: It's official. Today. Finally. It's been a long time coming. Maybe a year? A bit less, but oh hasn't it been coming... full-on, full speed ahead coming. I was always debating "When?" And I thought the grieving process would be intense, but it's quite the contrary, really.

The time is now. Perhaps a few hours ago. It's over, it's done. I'm no longer going to beat the dead dog. (Or however that saying goes! LOL) I'm going to let it rest....forever. There were good times, yes, but there's no point now.... Stale bread is gross.

I thought it would be sad.... It would be so hard to just let it go and finally end it. But I'm finding more peace and confidence with each step....

So "Goodbye" to what I thought would last much longer.... "Goodbye" to what has ended so bitterly.... "Goodbye" to the heartache, confusion, and dismissal.... "Goodbye" to unfulfilled expectations.... "Goodbye" to the cage you put me in....

And "Hello" to freedom.... "Hello" to destiny.... "Hello" to the new and frustrating.... "Hello" to the willing and trusting.... "Hello" to acceptance.... "Hello" to the real me!

Last "Old Blog": Strawberry Swing

2008-10-23T15:24:00.000-07:00

Oct. 7, 2008

Well, well, well.... It has certainly been a while. For all those who care (few and far between, I'm sure), I suppose I'll talk a bit about where I am today. :-)

First of all, God is so incredibly amazing.... Through the pain and everything, not only has He been there, but He's helped me grow.... I think one thing that's so important that I now understand to a greater depth is the meaning of TRUE WORSHIP. When I don't feel like it, hate the people who keep giving me crap, or whatever.... To take a moment, step back, and worship God in spite of it all....

For those who go to my church and have been in services where I've led worship.... All those things I pray or say or "exhort" (I think that word fits here....) are meant for me, too! I'm praying those things out loud over myself and over you and the whole congregation. There's no judgement or snobbiness or "looking-down-ness" here, people. It's the real thing, from my spirit. Those things are probably more for my benefit than yours! Haha! But I know that so many people also find themselves in similar situations and circumstances.

Things like truly trusting God even though I can't see a frickin thing(!), being STILL and knowing He is God.... all those things are meant for all of us, corporately, as a unit, as His CHURCH.

I am constantly blown away by the way God has moved in the midst of chaos, unbearable pain, betrayal, confusion. He's always taking my efforts and pieces and making something beautiful. I'm not out of the dark yet, but dawn is coming.... and it's a new, beautiful thing.

I'm so grateful for the new friends that I've made that appreciate me for being me! They don't try to contain me and stuff me in a box in the corner where I'm just supposed to "stay quiet" and keep to myself. At times I've felt like a singing bird who's just been released from her cage! Yes, it's a different situation with a different style and flavor to it, but it's so refreshing and freeing. To be honest, I never thought things would pan out as they have. God's opening new, unexpected doors for me and I'm walking through them.

Maybe all the pain was to bring me to this place.... Where I could finally stand up and say "Enough is enough".... To see this opportunity with eager eyes and a longing heart....

I'm expecting big things.... I really am. Something about a new challenge and broad parameters has really lit something in my spirit. Maybe because it's what I wanted all along, but was prevented from doing so.... Maybe this will all work out in the end.... Just maybe.... :-)

Personal Integrity

2008-10-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

Aug. 28, 2008

This week Christianity's been slapped across the face yet again. It's incredible to me the people who lead double lives and are sort of "famous" in the Christian world.... Catholic priests molesting children, pastors of huge churches participating in gay sex, and televangelists being financially dishonest.

The latest is Michael Guglielmucci (say that 3 times fast) from Australia. He's a pastor, musician, and songwriter from the Planetshakers band. One song he wrote in particular which is so powerful and Hillsong put on their latest album "This is Our God," is called "Healer." His songs have touched the lives of literally thousands of young people across the earth and now all of that has been damaged....

Guglielmucci said he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and he wrote the song "Healer" as a declaration of faith in God. (Find the Hillsong version on YouTube. It's really good. If you do watch it, notice the oxygen tank on stage with him....)

Last week he confessed to his parents, who are pastors of a church in Australia, that he didn't have cancer. He had lied. He used it as a coverup for his pornography addiction that he's had since he was 12 years old. He even wrote phony letters to his friends and family asking for money. He felt so guilty about it all that he'd immerse himself in good things: i.e. youth, songwriting, etc. The guilt he had from leading his double life made him physically sick. He is now undergoing psychiatric care because they're worried he might have actually believed that he had cancer. He is also signing over all the royalties that he gets from his songs because he doesn't want the money. *Google "Michael Guglielmucci" for articles.*

This is so heartbreaking.... My heart breaks for his wife, who had no idea; his parents and family members; the people at Hillsong; and the people in his church and have been positively affected by all of his efforts.It is so important that we who call ourselves Christians live lives that life up to that high calling. Personally, I can't imagine having an addiction or an issue in my life and getting up and leading worship for people in my church or youth group every week. And that's such a small scale compared to the thousands of people he's impacted.

This is also an ever-constant reminder that we can't trust everybody. A worship leader making up a story about having terminal cancer (he even had symptoms like clumps of his hair falling out as a result of the stress and guilt he was experiencing!) to cover up his 18-year porn addiction?!? Who would have thought???

We have to continually put Christ first and not ourselves and our sinful desires. Our personal lives MUST line up with our "public" or "Christian" personas. The Bible says that darkness is as light to the Lord. All that is hidden will be revealed. If we are to be people who practice what we preach, we must start with ourselves! I'm not talking about perfection or unrealistic standards because we are imperfect people and we will stumble, but we don't have to FALL. If Guglielmucci had admitted to someone that he had this problem and was getting counseling or taking active steps to free himself of that addiction, I would have much less of a problem. (I should note that Guglielmucci confessed, he wasn't caught.)

What's also incredible to me is how God used him in spite of that addiction. God isn't surprised by this revelation. He saw Guglielmucci the whole time and still used his songs to touch people....

Like John Mayer said, "Gravity has taken a better man than me.... Gravity stay the hell away from me!"

Oh God, please keep me in Your hand.... Don't let me become consumed with myself.... Don't let me get to the place where I think I'm invincible and will never get caught.... Let me stay in Your way, everlasting.... Let me run from the sin that so easily entangles into Your arms of grace.... Oh God, keep me....

16 things to do at Walmart

2008-10-23T15:19:00.000-07:00

June 28, 2008

I found this very funny and I think I'm going to plan an outing to Walmart sometime in the future....

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

Rest In Peace, David

2008-10-23T15:14:00.000-07:00

June 19, 2008

UPDATE: On June 11, exactly 1 month after David's passing, Derek Cameron Collier was found and he is now in jail on $1 million bail.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some of you may have heard that on Sunday, Mother's Day, a 20 year old man named David Datsky was stabbed.

I didn't know David very well, but I did meet him on a couple of occasions and he was the nicest guy. He was my best friend's sister's boyfriend, so I heard a lot about him. And when I met him, it was all true.

On Sunday I got a shocking call from my friend telling me what had happened.... It seemed so unreal.... and even to this day.... I've been so affected by David's passing.... more than I thought.... I've cried a lot over the loss of a precious, promising life. I had the privilege of crying, talking, and praying with my friend on that day and the days since. Please lift the Kim and Datsky families up in prayer whenever you think of them. The incredible heartache and shock they are experiencing is unimaginable. I can't imagine what I would do in their situation. David's death was so sudden.... It's so hard to bear it.... But please, please pray.

Thank you and please keep the Kim and Datsky families in your prayers.

~R.I.P. David L. Datsky~

"Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all"

2008-10-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

May 5, 2008

Have you ever been completely overwhelmed or had a deep realization at a totally random time? I totally had one of those this weekend on choir tour....

So I'm sleeping on the charter bus, somewhere between here and Ellensburg, just listening to Darlene Zschech's first CD, "Kiss of Heaven," (I think it was the song "Dreams" or maybe "Heaven on Earth") trying to get comfortable. I was probably humming or singing really loudly on the inside when it hit me just how much I love God.

I know that probably sounds strange, but it was just the craziest feeling. At that instant, surrounded by people and yet sort of closed off, my heart just kind of melted.... I was completely overwhelmed with how much I truly love my Jesus. Sometimes we don't think about it that much, and sometimes I wonder if I ever do anything right and if I'm doing what He wants me to.... But it was like my heart was just crying out to God, there in the back of the charter bus on a freeway.

I was almost taken aback by the depth, the intensity of my desire. Of my desire to truly love, follow, and serve Him.... It was unreal, but so real at the same time.

I will follow my King no matter what the cost. Wherever He leads me, wherever He is, that's where you'll find me. I will settle for nothing less than His plans. People may try to push their agendas and hurt me in the process, but I will not be moved until I hear His voice. In the words of King David and a little bit of Shawn McDonald, "Even though my enemy is camped upon my chest, I will fear no evil." I want so desperately to do and achieve everything God has for me. Every hurdle, every wound, every triumph, will be used for His glory. They will make me a better person. A better disciple. A better servant. A better leader....

A couple of tears actually rolled down my face as I continued to listen to music and just praise my Lord from the very core of who I am....

God is so incredible and amazing.... so indescribable. I pray that each and every one of you will have that realization and come to the place where He is truly your everything.... I don't know if you can really understand where I'm coming from or what I'm trying to share with you.... But after I thought about how deeply I am in love with my risen Savior, I felt Him whisper to my spirit, "Can you begin to fathom how much more I love you?"

A "Quick" Update

2008-10-23T15:06:00.000-07:00

May 5, 2008

Hello all! So I've definitely been so busy lately that I haven't had a chance to blog about any of the things I've been going through or done this past month! So here's kind of an update on my life....

Did anyone watch Idol Gives Back in April? I ended up missing it because I got bored watching it. We were in a hotel in Cali and I think we ended up watching Elizabeth: The Golden Age. What a movie! I hated it actually.... I totally wanted to beat the guy up. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.... ANYWAYS, I found out that next week that the American Idol Top 8 (or something like that) sang "Shout to the Lord" together! I pretty much freaked out. Honestly, I didn't believe it at first. Then I found it on YouTube or on TV or something and watched it. Then I REALLY freaked! I think that's SO FRICKING AWESOME that they sang a worship song by my FAVORITE woman/worship leader on TV....AMERICAN IDOL none the less, which is watched by TENS OF MILLIONS of people every week!!!!!!!!! I was stoked beyond belief. I think that's just the most awesomest thing ever!!!!!!!

Which leads me to my next update.... My family and I spent spring break in Phoenix and LA this year. Very cool. Phoenix and southern Cali are beautiful! I will have to expand on the Phoenix part at a later date, but here's a bit of what went on in Cali. So basically, the purpose of our trip was to look at colleges for me to attend and to see if I even like southern CA, the schools, etc. I looked at Biola and Azusa Pacific Universities. I had really, really liked Biola on paper (except for the money part....dear God....) and was hoping I'd like it in real life. The campus is beautiful. I love it there! I felt comfortable and like I fit in, which is so cool. So now, it's definitely my dream school, but we'll see what God's going to do with that whole situation.... We also got to do some sightseeing. If you check out all my pictures, you'll see that we went to Hollywood Boulevard, Venice Beach, and Rodeo Drive. It was a lot of fun. The CA is so beautiful! Phoenix is also beautiful. Their freeways look cleaner for some reason.... lol The weather was also pretty good. When we first got to LA it was in the 60s, but by Friday, it was in the 80s! Phoenix was pretty much in the 90s the 4 or so days we were there, so I definitely got reacquainted with sunshine, which was so nice!

If you read my last blog, you know that I had laryngitis and then got a cold on top of that which lasted about a week. I'm fully recovered now, but what a crap week that was. An update on the Fine Arts Festival that I competed in: I did end up singing at something like 9:45am and I couldn't get my time changed, so I lowered the key (which I had only sang once EVER, which was that day in a practice room) and just did my best. It was really weird for me.... Especially because I knew that it sounded bad and I could do so much better! So the performance really wasn't "me," if that makes any sense. But I did it, got it over with, and will throw out the judges comments because they really don't matter! lol ;-) Unfortunately worship team didn't go as smoothly as we'd wanted, but I sang my guts out and everyone did their best. Apparently we got a time violation, so that really knocked down our score, so that sucked. But Daniel did make it to nationals for his drum solo, so that's good. Everyone did really well and made a few new recruits for our youth worship team!

I just got back yesterday from my high school's choir tour, which was fun. We went to Eastern WA and Idaho. Sounds boring, but it was actually really fun! We sang at Central WA University, a high school in Spokane, Silverwood theme park in Idaho, and in Leavenworth. We also went bowling (oh wow do I suck....), swimming in a "water park" that was connected to our hotel, and spent the day riding rollercoasters at Silverwood. All in all, it was a great trip!

School is "kinda-sorta" winding down, but it doesn't really feel like it. It's crazy how fast this year has gone by.... I'm almost a senior! Wow! I remember feeling like I'd never graduate, and now here it comes.... It's just crazy! So there you go....a general update on my life, travels, etc. :-)

"Yes, I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned"

2008-10-23T15:01:00.000-07:00

(That’s a line from the song "Lesson Learned," which was penned by Alicia Keys and John Mayer off her new album, As I Am. Good CD!)

So much has been going on in my life lately.... I’ve been hurt a lot, cried a lot, talked a lot, thought a lot, and learned a lot. I’ve reevaluated a lot of things, reprioritized some things, changed some things, and realized other things. I’ve learned so much about myself ... it’s kind of weird....

I never expected life to be perfect, because it isn’t, but sometimes life just hits you smack in the face at 100mph with no warnings at all. Maybe the warnings were there, but you chose to ignore them or whatever. So many different things in my life came crashing down at once, it was too much for me to handle. Although things have been repaired, it will never be the same as it was before.... Honestly, I’ve never been so deeply hurt.... (There were about 3 to 5 days where I seriously couldn’t listen to any music because every song reminded me of something related to what I was dealing with!) Through it all, I’ve seen myself at my worst .... and maybe my best, I don’t really know. I’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.... I’ve seen my blaring flaws, and the imperfect person I really am. It’s kind of scary, to be honest.

I learned a lot about the company I keep.... Through all the ups and downs over this past month or so, I’ve discovered who my true friends are. I’ve seen who will probably be in my life for the long haul, and who will probably fade as time passes. I’ve sorted out the seasonal leaves from the roots. It’s funny to see who comes out of the woodwork while you’re passing through the fire.... It’s been a hard process, but so necessary in the long run. Some people aren’t meant to be in our lives forever. It’s just a fact. The seasonal friends are here for this season in our lives to teach us something, and vice versa. They aren’t necessarily bad in any way, it just requires a different kind of relationship and priority. On the other hand, I’ve also grown some "roots" (Thank you, Shawn McDonald, for that amazing CD!). People I’ve known for a while all of a sudden stood up and I began to take notice of how connected we really are....what gems they are...and how I couldn’t do life without them. I’m so privileged to know so many genuine, caring, supportive people! Especially after these last couple of episodes in my life, I’ve really been able to differentiate between the rhinestones and the diamonds.

I think the trouble comes when we mistake our leaves for our roots, and our roots for leaves. I think that’s where I was.... Maybe my tree needed to be shaken a bit for me to realize it. Both types of friends are important and teach us something, but we shouldn’t pour our hearts out to the leaves when they’ll just blow away when the wind comes, or miss out on what can be gained from the roots.

Another lesson that seems to be reiterated often is that nothing is forever, and everything is temporary. I think I became too comfortable with where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing.... I needed to be reminded that this isn’t it. There’s more to be had.... And with that, comes so much uncertainty. In more ways than one, my next steps aren’t very clear.... I’m still patiently waiting for the Word ... because obedience is better than sacrifice, and I trust Him completely....

My "Pre-Life" Crisis

2008-10-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

Feb. 18, 2008

It is here, halfway through February 2008, that I find myself in what I'm calling a "pre-life crisis". I turned 17 a month ago and now I'm already into the second semester of my junior year of high school. A few weeks ago I just felt like my whole future crashed over me in a tidal wave.... Let me explain.

I'm sort of a crazy child.... I've been looking at colleges since the 7th or 8th grade. It's always been something I've been interested in and it was never really a question of whether or not I was going to college.... I was going. The way I'm wired, I view my life as a never-ending countdown to something, somewhere. I counted down the days til I turned 17, could legally drive people in my luxurious minivan, my senior year, college, etc. But graduation and college has always seemed so incredibly distant....and now it's just a football field away.

A few weeks ago I just began deeply thinking about these things....all the changes that are going to be taking place in a year and a half's time....and I honestly felt like I was going to cry....just break into tears right then and there, in the middle of my British Literature class. I was suddenly completely overwhelmed with....well, everything, it seemed like. I would probably not get to see many of my friends again, or at least for long periods of time, I wouldn't see my family, I wouldn't be able to go to my church.... Oh, so many things.

What's sort of funny is that I want change. Deep down inside of me, I know I want things to change. I want to go out and explore the world....explore myself....explore this glorious thing called Life. I want to try new things and fall more in love with the Creator of it all. I know I'm not meant to stay here forever. But at the same time, there's fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure.

This whole college process has been and is going to be very difficult for my family. My parents can be a bit overprotective at times and this whole thing of their daughter growing up and becoming an adult is such a shock for them. It's going to be incredibly hard for them to let go. My little sister is going to be forced to find out who she really is as a person, without her big sister around. It'll force her to become more of a leader, I think. But as much as I want my parents to let go, (and believe me, I do!) a small....itsy-bitsy....almost microscopic part of me doesn't want them to.

I think comfort has a huge part in what I'm feeling and going through right now. I'm so comfortable here. Especially in church life and with all of my fabulous friends. I've found my niche and I'm surrounded by people I love, and people who love me. I'm doing what I love and I've just been so blessed.... I can't even put into the words the intense gratitude I have in my heart. As much as I'm ready for a new adventure, I'm a bit terrified. Of the new hurdles I'll have to leap over.... All the new people I'll have to meet....

I think that's another thing: people. Oh my word, I love people. :-) One thing I don't like, though, is having to establish myself...or build a reputation for myself. I've noticed that about myself whenever I changed schools. Like when I started elementary school, then moved to middle school, and now to high school. Each time I had to re-establish who I was, because my new teachers had no idea. They probably thought I was a punk kid like everybody else, and I always tried to show them that I wasn't. I was a good student who got good grades and just wanted to keep doing it. (Yes, I'm a goody-two-shoes, ok? :-) I think college is going to be similar to this, but on a much grander scale. Most of the people I know, work with, and do life with have known me since I was in the 5th or 6th grade. They know me pretty well and we have a history together. In college, NO ONE is going to know who I am as a person or anything about me. I won't have a history with anyone. Everyone's going to make their judgements and I will have to re-establish myself once again. (Please don't get me wrong, I don't expect people to "know who I am".... I know I'm not a celebrity or even someone who should be known.) All the people I hold so dear won't be there. My best friends won't be there. The people who know me the most won't be there. I won't have anyone to confide in or have inside jokes with.... Sure, I'll make friends, I'm not super-worried about that. ;-) But it takes time to really get to know someone....and maybe that's what I'm worried about.

College is going to be the biggest shock of my life (so far). I have no doubts about that. A part of me wants to go so bad and get all of this mundane stuff overwith, but another part of me just wants to keep on doing what I'm doing here...with the people I've come to know and love. I look forward to the future with a nervous smile and anticipation....but dread the day when I'll have to say goodbye to everything that's familiar.

Martin Luther King, Jr. & Our Lives

2008-10-23T14:50:00.000-07:00

Feb. 5, 2008

Today is Martin Luther King Day, but I think barely anybody even thinks of him, his mission, or his sacrifice. It's sad, because he gave his life for freedom, justice, and equality...and we get a day off. (Or at least some of us do. :-) I sang "Lift Ev'ry Voice" at my old middle school's MLK assembly on Friday because my old teacher asked me to. She's an interesting person and is really involved in civil rights/liberties and stuff like that. However, she's not a Christian and I'm not really sure where she stands on the whole "there's a God" thing. I think she's more like those who take bits and pieces from whatever religion they want and mash it up together to create some type of personalized religion/spirituality/whatever you want to call it. As she was introducing me, she gave a brief story about how she went to hear Dr. King give his "I Have a Dream" speech when she was about 10 years old. In it she mentioned that she got her strength and hope from Dr. King and called on him whenever she needed it. I couldn't help sort of chuckling and shaking my head because how ridiculous is that - calling on a dead person to give you strength???

Dr. King was a great man, no doubt. He's one of my heroes...someone who really stood up and DID something, which so many people fail to do. I think in today's society, Dr. King's belief in Christ and the fact that he was a PASTOR before he was a civil rights leader, gets heavily overlooked. It's kind of brushed aside. But Christ was where he found his strength, not in himself, or the people he was surrounded by. Because his faith was in Jesus and Him alone, God did incredible things through him and changed a nation. To this day, 45 years later, people still talk about Dr. King and millions of lives have been changed because he listened to the call of God on his life.

This led me to think about what my calling is.... What it is that God's called me to do. Will I follow that still, small voice? That ever-present, yet gentle tug in my spirit? What would happen if the young people across this earth would stand up in their God-given abilities and gifts, hopes and dreams? Could I change a nation? Could I rewrite history for the generations that will come after me? What if we believed that our God was as big as He said He was? What if we believed He really was "mighty to save"? What if we would give our ENTIRE lives over to the cause of Christ and His Kingdom?

I believe, in the very core of my being, that each and every person has something, a mission, that God has called them to do. As Christians, those that claim to follow the words of a Man who claimed He was the Messiah - our Savior, we can't just sit in our comfortable pews and look at the world and shake our heads with pity. If we stay seated...if we stay quiet and ignore what the Spirit of God has called us to do, how can we call ourselves His? What if Dr. King hadn't listened to the voice of God and just said, "No, no, God.... I can't do this. I'm not _____ enough. Please, please...not me"? Millions of people would be affected. My life would be drastically different.... I can't even begin to fathom it. What if people's destinies were hinged on whether you said "Yes!" to God's plan for your life? What if there is someone waiting for YOU?

It's up to the Church to change the world.... There's no one else to do it. The government can't do it. Education can't do it. Only the life-changing, radical, unconditional, matchless, powerful name of Jesus and the Gospel can change the world and bring love to a love-staved planet. We put our hope in people like Oprah or Bono and sort of pat them on the back for what they're doing. And what they're doing is great.... I wish Christians, whose true religion should consist of taking care of the widows and orphans, would do what they do. We have 24/7 access to the God of the universe and all we care about is our little world. There's so much more to life and so much needs to be done. My heart's cry...my deepest desire...is to say "Yes!" to wherever God leads me. Possibly my deepest fear is that I'd miss out on what God has for me. People's eternal destinies are dependent upon my obedience to this Jesus that I claim to love so much. It's so much BIGGER than me and my little comfortable slice of life.

When I think about how incredible the grace of God is...it makes me cry. When I think of how NOTHING on this green earth happens without God's knowledge...it just blows my mind. I've been placed here (in this country, in this state, in this county, in this town, in this church, in this school, in this neighborhood) for a reason. Nothing's by accident. My ever-living God has had it all planned from the beginning. He's placed a calling on my life, and who am I to say "No" to the Creator of all? My life has worked out the way it has because I'm determined to fulfill my purpose while I'm here on this earth. I know it's not going to be easy...and it hasn't...but I truly believe that "my God is mighty to save" and whatever obstacles I face, they won't stop me from following His plan with gusto and enthusiasm, perserverance and faith.

What if Dr. King had said "no" to what God was calling him to do? This country would not be in the state it's in, that's for sure. What if your saying no to what God's calling you to do would have the same impact? What if you could see the impact of your disobedience to His calling, His wooing? Would you still say no?

Old Stuff: "Do I Exist???"

2008-10-23T14:46:00.000-07:00

So the next 10+ posts are going to be old stuff that I've written and figured I'd put up on here.... I know it's a lot! But if I do it all in one shot, then I won't have to come back to it later, you know? :-P

Do I Even Exist???
Dec. 2, 2007

Ok, so I'm a diehard romantic. I don't know if that's obvious when people first get to know me...but it's the truth regardless. My favorite movie is "Pride & Prejudice" (which could possibly be the most romantic movie of all time) and my favorite book is "Redeeming Love." What can I say - I'm a romantic! I always dream of the day I'll meet "Mr. Right" and be whisked off to Sydney to live happily ever after. (lol ok, so it's not exactly like that....) But anyways...lately it seems like anyone I've ever been interested in...something's wrong with them. Whether it be they have a girlfriend, they're retarded, or they're just too old. (I gave up on Matt Damon yesterday....) Part of me wants to wait until God drops him right in front of me (no, I'm not referring to Matt Damon...although I could go for that), but part of me's like "I wanna be the girl with the boyfriend for once!!!" I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been kissed...and I'm almost 17. I don't feel pressured at all to check those off my list or anything.... It's just that sometimes I want to feel special, too, you know? This is probably horrible, but at school I'm always like, "Oh my gosh - SHE has a boyfriend?" or vice versa. I know I'm not the most beautiful girl in the world...but sometimes I want to know what it's like. And not with just anyone. Don't get me wrong - I'm NOT desperate! I'd be single for a really long time before I went out with some random person...that's not how I roll. ;-)

You know what's interesting...a couple months ago I almost got into my first relationship and thank God I didn't. I didn't know him super-well, but I tend to think the best of people until proven otherwise. I knew that he hadn't had the best life, but he was trying to change all that. He was absolutely smitten with me. I couldn't return those feelings. But when we talked I got all excited and nervous.... Just ask my best friend - I was an emotional mess! But I was a mess because I knew that I didn't like him nearly as much as he liked me. It was a tough situation, but some circumstances arose and he ended up moving away. Honestly...I can say I felt relieved. I ended up finding out some things that made me go "Oh my gosh...I almost fell for that. What could've happened to me?"

I'm glad that nothing ended up happening and nothing was taken from me.... I can still dream of the first time I'll hold hands, go on a date, have my first kiss.... I want all those "firsts" to be with someone special.... Not just for fun...but to really get to know someone.... But so far, it looks like I've got more waiting to do. :-) Deep down, waiting is ok with me. I've got big dreams. I want to go to school outside of LA and study [marketing] and then go to Sydney and study [music]. Although I really don't want to wait until I go to Sydney to meet my Aussie man, I'm willing to hold out for him. Who knows...maybe I won't even have to go to Sydney to meet him. ;-)

A Sacrifice of Praise....etc.

2008-10-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

My Spirit was heavy this morning.... It's rare that I go into the House of God deeply feeling that way.... Especially as we (the worship team) are praying before the service begins, I just felt a weightiness inside of me. My outside circumstances haven't changed much in a negative nor positive way. But I just had a burden, or maybe burdens.... But right then and there I gave it all to God, as I thought I had, but I was still worrying about it all I guess. So I prayed it out loud and let it go.... float into the clouds like a little balloon.... and took some moments after "team prayer" to just sit, think, pray, and once again commit myself to the Lord.... I definitely gave a sacrifice of praise this morning, and even though it wasn't "powerful," I was actively participating, actively worshipping.... actively loving....

On another note, our Bible study went awesomely well last night. We got off topic a bit :-) but God was there. We all came away with something we could work on, as well as new dreams and goals.... I'm so pumped about what God's going to do through every one of us.... The best is yet to come!

Tonight will be pretty lax, which will be so nice after the beyond-hectic week I've had. Here's the following lineup: nap, homework, then watch "Freedom Writers" with my little sis.... It should be a pretty good night....

Oh, and I bought Sara Bareilles' CD the other night! Good stuff....

Dance.Love.Sing.Live

2008-10-13T14:27:00.000-07:00

"Dance as though no one is watching you,

Love as though you have never been hurt before,

Sing as though no one can hear you,

Live as though heaven is on earth." - Souza

Happy Thoughts

2008-10-12T22:44:00.000-07:00

....this is random, but

the future's going to be amazing....

seriously stoked about it to be honest....

have to find a way to stay in the present....

it's kind of a dilemma for us enfp's....

always looking ahead....

perpetually waiting for the destination....

Smack Bam

2008-10-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

I was riding in the car today when I got an idea for a new song. Not a worship song, just a song. I love it when that happens.... :-) So I jotted down some ideas and once things calm down in my life (this is going to be an insanely busy week!) I'll come back to it and maybe work on some lyrics. Then as I pick up the guitar and piano, I can finally add music to it! Exciting stuff....

DANG IT!

2008-10-12T00:00:00.000-07:00

I almost made it 2 months exactly without making a single post.... Haha! Sad, but true. If I was only a few minutes earlier!

I still haven't posted other things I've written, but I promise to do those.... someday. But for now, I wanted to leave you with some thoughts about freedom. Those who live in the US of A should take heed....

We went to Canada to visit some friends yesterday (Friday). At a point late in the evening, he began telling us stories of how he escaped from Iran (he's Iranian, his wife's Kazakhistani but raised in Germany) to get to America. Really crazy stories he told us.... He risked his life so many times, and the lives of his family too.... It's just insane, literally insane. Maybe I'll elaborate at some point, but the next morning at breakfast I asked him, because I really wanted to know, "What is it about America.... What do we have here that would cause you to literally risk everything to get here?" Basically, his answer was "Opportunity." In Iran, there's no opportunities to live a better life.... You get what you get and the few people who are at the top of the government make all the money... by stealing basically.

Anyways, it was just a cool moment, I guess. You hear all the time about people coming from wherever to get to America (or Canada :-) and as Americans, we have no idea really what it is.... the freedom that we have.... it was just a really humbling moment and made me think of how blessed I am.... I could have been born in Iran, or Rwanda, or Russia, or China.... But God put me here "for such a time as this".... mindboggling stuff.

It's late and I gotta get up in.... 6ish hours.... so goodnight, and thank God for freedom!

PS Sorry I'm so bad at this blogging stuff. For some reason, I always think I have to write, like, a "mini-essay" or something.... Instead of just posting things that I like in general.... I'll try to do better in the future. :-)

Welcome!

2008-08-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

Well welcome to my blog, everyone! I'll post some old blog entries later and then I'll post a more up-to-date one. :-)

Basically, in this blog you'll be able to follow me on my journey on The Road Less Traveled. This year will be really interesting, full of challenges, and lots and LOTS of important decisions.... People changing, the formerly familiar becoming unfamiliar and strange.... Lots of changes in general, really. I'll be learning and growing, and for those who are interested, you'll be able to read about it and get an idea of what's going on in my head.... (Some people have said that's a dangerous place, but I'll let you be the judge of that.)

That's all for now.... so enjoy The Road Less Traveled!

The Road Less Traveled

Farewell, lovely people!

A letter to the seniors.... (Well, I guess you can still read this even if you're not a senior yet haha!)

Ugh.... Inspiration OVERLOAD! (Is that even possible?)

A new breed....

Carefree

A Mother's Worship

"Fire in my bones"

Mark 7

Well, ok then....

Religion kills....

New entertainment

Read it for YOURSELF!

new tunes!

Fallen off the face of the earth?

Pardon my vent.

Thank You!!!

i don't know. i don't know. i don't know.

Happy {Early} Valentine's Day!

Update!

A Realization

Albertine

Burning.... Freedom.... Passion

Goodbye, 2008

More Reading....

Reading....

If You're In Need of a Good Laugh....

Things I'm Loving Right Now!

What a Day.... What a Year!

I Have Fallen In Love....

Picture Perfect

Me Gusta....

It's Official.

Last "Old Blog": Strawberry Swing

Personal Integrity

16 things to do at Walmart

Rest In Peace, David

"Love so amazing, so divine, demands my soul, my life, my all"

A "Quick" Update

"Yes, I was burned, but I call it a lesson learned"

My "Pre-Life" Crisis

Martin Luther King, Jr. & Our Lives

Old Stuff: "Do I Exist???"

A Sacrifice of Praise....etc.

Dance.Love.Sing.Live

Happy Thoughts

Smack Bam

DANG IT!

Welcome!